Metal Martyr

Dear Oderus. Advice From Gwar Frontman?

by Scott on August 2nd, 2007

So your going through tough times and you don’t know who to turn to. Dr. Phil is too busy saving other people as his alter-ego “Captain Obvious” and your mom is tired of hearing your crap and now screen her calls. What is a metal head to do? Write your shock-rock God from outer space. Thats right, Oderus Urungus is your newest “Dear Abby“.

Gwar frontman, Oderus Urungus has signed a six month deal with anarchymusic.net to do a series of advice columns. It’s kinda like asking Henry Rollins for acting lessons. Anyway you can read the first part of the series here (Dear Oderus). Here is just one of the letters:

I’ve tried for 9 years to get along with my stepson. He’s now 15 years old and he is mean, he lies and getting him to do chores is impossible. I can’t stand him and it’s had a huge impact on my relationship with my husband. Should I wait it out and hope that he moves out when he turns 18 or what?

NucknFuts

Oderus: Well, you have many choices, but I would say that you could wait it out. In another couple of years the kid’s going to be out of the house anyway and you can enjoy your relationship with your husband. Or, you can take an ax and bury it in the child’s forehead, bury him in the backyard in a shallow grave and basically use him as fertilizer in the garden. So either wait three years or kill him right now.

Photo Source Anarchymusic.net

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