Marilyn Manson Contracts Swine Flu, Won’t Die
September 23, 2009 by Eric J
Proving yet again that the proper application of drugs, tranny sex and just plain bizarre habits will make you capable of beating pretty much any illness, Marilyn Manson has announced that he has contracted the H1N1 virus, also known as Swine Flu. Manson states:
“So I have officially been diagnosed, by a real doctor, with THE SWINE FLU. I know everyone will suggest that fucking a pig is how this disease was obtained. However, the doctor said, my past choices in women have in no way contributed to me acquiring this mysterious sickness. Unfortunately, I am going to survive.”
Hey, he said “unfortunately”, not me. Granted, Swine Flu isn’t as lethal as people are making it out to be, but just this once, couldn’t they be right? Oh my sweet baby Jesus, I can just imagine the new level of tasteless but funny jokes to hit the tubes if Marilyn Manson were to die of freaking Swine Flu. His next series of “songs” will be about the angst and horror of sitting on a toilet while having to puke between his knees and the extreme discomfort that the running mascara causes his eyes as he cries tears of gothic agony, wishing his bowels would just seal themselves shut forever.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish anyone dead. I just think it would be funny.
[image: Ian Gavin/Photoshot/AdMedia/Newscom]
This is amazing. “UNFORTUNATELY I AM GOING TO SURVIVE.” What a jerk.
Unfortunately, he is going to continue making his version of “shock rock” and threatening to kill journalists that speak badly about him. Marilyn Manson has really gotten shitty. Not just musically, but as a person. It’s a shame.
to be honest your pretty sick
you think its funny someone dying ?
sad sad person :/