Image © Metal Martyr 2009

Over the past two years I’ve got albums to review and the press release that came along with it usually had some kind of description of the bands sound. Sometimes they would say “Like nothing you’ve ever heard before”. I would listen and think, ” That’s exactly like everything else I’ve heard”. Sometimes if it was actually like nothing I’ve ever heard, it was usually something I’d never want to hear again. Sometimes I’ve chosen not to review an album or Ep because I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings or I didn’t even think it deserved a review. This is exactly why I chose the winning comment of the contest. That and it was pretty funny.All were great entries, but I can only choose one. The winner of the contest is “Wayreth” with the comment:

Get ready for a new revelation that just won’t do jack shit to you if you listen to it. The least you could try to do is maybe bang your head but that’s about it. Why listen than you ask??? Ever heard the worst metalband on earth??? No??? Why not give this a try than? Anyways don’t let us know about what you think of it…we allready know what we are… but do you?

If you want to promote your band and you know you suck, this is the way to do it!

Wayreth, you’ll be receiving an email from me very soon so I can get your address to mail this stuff off to you. Enjoy and thanks to everyone that entered.

UPDATE: Unfortunately I realized shortly after posting this that the winner, Wayreth, lives in Europe. Belgium to be exact, and I just can’t afford to send this over there. So, in order to fulfill this contest, I have to choose a new winner.

That winner is Kwells with his comment: It’ll tear through your ass like Kirstie Ally tears through an all you can eat buffet.

Kirstie Ally used to be hot back in the day. Kwell, expect an email from me soon.

Post from: Metal Martyr