1. Dave Mustaine: Although with his musical genius comes the fact that he is one of the most hated metal musicians in the industry. Over the years he has made more enemies than friends. However, I would love to be credited with writing some of the masterpieces he has written.

2. Lars Ulrich: If I was Lars I would kick my own ass.

3. Glenn Benton: A person that takes himself and his music so seriously that he deems it fit to burn an upside down cross into his forehead is as demented as Charles Manson and deserves even less respect. I’m sure your grandchildren will love that, Glenn!

4. Lemmy Kilmister: This guy is more ugly than I am and I just can’t have that.

5. Tommy Lee: I don’t care how big the “T-Bone” is and who it’s been in, Tommy Lee is now in my book the King of Posers and get’s absolutely no respect for abandoning and defiling the Legacy of Motley Crüe.

6. Ozzy Osbourne: The Oz-man has pickled his brain to the point of no return. That and I couldn’t stomach being married to “SHARRROOON!”.

7. Maz Cavelera: I like to wash my hair.

8. Kerry King: I like having hair… the little bit that I keep anyway.

9. Evan Sienfeld: I couldn’t kiss Terra Patrick knowing how many penis’s have been in her mouth…and other places.

10. Sebastian Bach: From Youth Gone Wild to Decrepit Douche bag.

I could probably think of a few more but I think I will leave it at that. Don’t get me wrong. I am a fan and I respect 98% of the musicians on this list. I just wouldn’t want to be them.

Who would you not want to switch places with and why?

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Post from: Metal Martyr

How to Become a Metal Musician
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Photography by Skip The Budgle.

This is a guest post by Arjun Muralidharan, the mind behind The Good Musician.

Metal Music – passion of a devoted fan base and a genre unique enough that entire books have been written about how aspiring musicians can master this art. Let me share with you some tips for aspiring metal musicians, guitarists in particular.

Enough with the cheesiness, if you like metal music, chances are you’d love to be able to play metal music. Unfortunately, Metal is a tricky genre when it comes to playing, for two reasons:

1. It’s really hard: Metal Music is usually very complex, fast and comparable to classical music – a lot of instruments, challenging passages and very intricate melodic and harmonic changes (we’ll get this in a mo, don’t fret) make Metal one of the hardest Genres to play.
2. It’s technically dependent: Most of your favorite Metal bands have huge sets of amplifiers, guitars that cost thousands of dollars and a technical crew running around backstage making it all work.

Also, the massive light shows make a big difference. Now, not jokingly, Metal performances are probably as complex as a Wagner opera with 200 participants.

I often run across some aspiring metalhead guitarists, and I tend to give the same advice every time:

• Practice scales:
  Jimmy Page, a forefather of modern heavy metal, had developed his own teaching methods, including a lot of scales. Scales are series of notes, usually in a musical key (like C-major), that you should practice to play in a technically clean fashion. Start out slow, and buld up speed. Clean first, fast later.
• Get technical: Learn as much as you can about sound and acoustics. Learn how to order effects, because Metal without effects isn’t Metal.
• Perfect the basics: If you’re not taking classes, take some. Learn proper guitar technique, because Metal is technically as challenging as any advanced classical finger study.
• Play classical music: Most metal fans I know also dig some classical music. Even if you don’t practicing to play classical music will give you a different approach to music as pop or standard blues/rock does. Classical music is very melodic and complex, while musical forms in pop and rock are held simple – for a purpose.
• Mimic your favourite songs: Try playing your favorite riffs instead of trying to compose own stuff. The more famous riffs you can play, the more you will know about how metal works. You will begin to see similarities and recurring elements.
• this article and this one could be of help – but remember: If you’re not having fun, it’s not worth pursuing!

Post from: Metal Martyr